A Life of Servitude

Trail-blazing feminist and author Alice Walker deceived a generation of women. A champion of women's rights, she has always argued that motherhood is a form of servitude. But one woman didn't buy in to Alice's beliefs - her daughter, Rebecca, 38.

Here the writer describes what it was like to grow up as the daughter of a cultural icon, and why she feels so blessed to be the sort of woman 64-year-old Alice despises - a mother.

And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your servant-- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

Matthew 20:27-29

The Babies

A couple of days ago, I decided to take the kids to a nearby waterfall for some pictures. I really just wanted some shots of the girls, so I could blow one up, frame it, and put it in the girls' room. Well, I didn't check the weather before going, since it was a spontaneous decision to go. That was a big mistake. Since it had rained the day before, it was really humid and everything was muddy. What was I thinking??

To make matters worse, it was sunny. Outdoor pictures need to be taken on overcast days, especially when you're doing transracial photography. So almost none of the pics looked good. Either everyone was squinting because I had them in the sun, or you couldn't see Maya at all because the sun was behind her.

As we were leaving the park, I decided to get a quick shot of the babies. I told them to hold hands and realizing how bored they looked, asked them to look at each other. As soon as Liddy looked at Daniel, he started dancing for her. It was so funny! This picture really shows their personalities- Lydia is standing still, looking very demure, and Daniel's dancing around crazy-like.

Pedro's Back!

Pedro recently got home from his annual trip to
New York City to visit his best buddy, Carlos, who attends the Art Institute of New York.
He was there for a whole 10 days, so everyone was so thrilled to see him again. He arrived home at lunchtime, so all the kids were squealing and yelling when he walked in the door.
Pedro said that every third person in New York wore these silly "glasses". He thought they were so hilarious, he just had to buy a pair. According to him, everyone looked this ridiculous in them.
Well, except for Liddy Bitty of course, who looks cute in everything! We're all so glad Pedro's home again! We missed his laughter and jokes, not to mention his trash-taking-out abilities.

Popularity Now *Required* at School

Alex Barton

PORT ST. LUCIE — Melissa Barton said she is considering legal action after her son's kindergarten teacher led his classmates to vote him out of class.

After each classmate was allowed to say what they didn't like about Barton's 5-year-old son, Alex, his Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo said they were going to take a vote, Barton said.

Read the rest of the story here.

Morals of the story: No one cares about your child the way you do. Therefore, you are your child's best teacher.

Subway Snubs Home Sctoolers!

Subway, the sandwich restaurant, wants to hear your child’s story – unless he or she is homeschooled.

The national chain’s "Every Sandwich Tells a Story Contest" offers prizes and a chance to be published on the Subway website and in Scholastic’s "Parent & Child" magazine but specifically excludes homeschoolers:

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Contest is open only to legal residents of the Untied (sic) States who are currently over the age of 18 and have children who attend elementary, private or parochial schools that serve grades PreK-6. No home schools will be accepted.

Subway’s website promotion not only misspells "United" States, but offers the grand prize winner a "Scholastic Gift Bastket for your home."

Genius! Perhaps they should have hired a homeschooler as their editor. Homeschooled students have a long history of winning the national spelling bee.

(And yes, the typo in the title was intentional.)

Out of the Mouths. . .

The other day I asked Daniel what he remembered about Liberia. He said, "My mom and dad were there." I asked him what his mom looked like. He cocked his head to the side and looked at me very carefully before answering, "She looked like you, except she had green eyes." So I ask the obvious, "She was white?"
"Yep."
Each night at dinner, one of the kids prays before we eat. They take turns, one each night. Tonight as they were arguing over who got to pray, Kyle announced: "Ginger, you pray," so I did.
When I finished, Lydia looked at me with a very sweet smile and said: "That was a good one, Mama."

(This picture taken when she wasn't feeling great, thus the warm clothes.)

As I was carrying Liddy upstairs for bed (her request), she turned my face to hers and said: "I like you Mom." As I was relishing this compliment of compliments, she went on: ". . . and I like my Daddy, and my Elena, and my Maya, and my Chloe, and my brothers."

Art Appreciation

We've just started studying the art of Norman Rockwell. This painting, "Triple Self-Portrait" elicited some self-portraits among my budding artists. Check it out:

Elena, whose nostrils aren't nearly that big and who really only has 5 fingers on each hand.

Maya, who apparently is a fan of Picasso's style. lol

Chloe, who seemingly has some unvoiced desire for pierced ears and a pet monkey (in her left hand (which is on the right side) above).

And finally: Isaac, with the big muscles and t-shirt that says "STRONG" (spelled SHCHG). This one is quite appropriate actually.

I thought you'd enjoy this psychological view into the psyche of the Clark kids. They think very highly of themselves.

Last Weekend, Part 3

Last Thursday, Kyle took the day off, so we went to the zoo. (Thanks again, Dad & Shannon, for the zoo membership. We're making very good use of it!) There were at least 9 school buses in the parking lot when we arrived. Grrrr. And wouldn't you know it, on the day we decide to wear our red shirts so we can keep track of everyone, so did three of those public school groups. Sheesh!

I love this carousel. The kids really just like the spinning bird's nest. Chloe kept her arms around both Daniel and Lydia, who wanted to be with the big kids, but didn't really want to spin. Chloe's a very good comforter. She's gonna make a great mother.

This is how we travel, for those who've asked. The big kids chant a little song to help them remember the rule: "Put your hands on the stroller and stay close to your mother."

Oh and we did see some live animals too, like this cute meerkat.And the stingrays. Maya is the most unafraid of these graceful gliders. She was feeding him a shrimp.

Some are trying to pet the ray, others just want to get their hands wet. Nothing more fun than water. At least, it's not in my bathroom! Don't ask.

The babies love their little monkey backpacks, which are also harnesses. Don't tell them I'm keeping them safe. They just think they're cool!

URGENT: Please Pray!

Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest adoptee, Maria (5) was hit by a car and died today. Detailed story here. Please pray for the Chapman family.

Three at Once??

I recently got this email:

We are in the process of adopting three girls from Ethiopia. I was wondering if you could tell me more about how your kids' adjustment went and some of the things you've encountered in adopting older kids and three at once. I totally feel this is what God called us to do, but sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking about the logistics of it. Right now, I'm stressing thinking about homeschooling and how I'm going to handle it all. . .
Thanks,
Beth

First of all, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling! You have strong opposing emotions and it makes you feel a little crazy. I remember that feeling! You are so excited to have your long-awaited kids home, but you're also really nervous about how it's going to all work. I'll be honest: I don't miss those emotions.
Adopting three at once was hard! I've heard many adoptive families say it's like an invading army. I didn't really get that until recently. They didn't feel like an army at all, they seemed like kids. But I did make a very concerted effort to avoid the us vs. them scenario. That part of the "invasion" I understand.
What made the adjustment go smoothly in the beginning, and this is very simple- we spent a TON of time outside. I mean, we'd eat breakfast, get dressed and go outside for a couple of hours. Then we'd eat lunch, take naps (everyone!) and go back outside almost until dinner time. That kept us sane and helped us develop camaraderie. We kept up that routine for the first month and slowly weaned off of it. I didn't school anyone that first month and then we started in slowly after that, just focusing on the three Rs.
For the first couple months, your only focus should be on feeding them, bathing them, and loving them. All the rest is gravy until you settle into a routine of your own. Don't rush it! These kids need your love more than anything else. If they get that and only that, they're way ahead of where they were before. Stay focused on your goal.

Many blessings,

Last Weekend, Part 2

Last Friday night, we were invited to have dinner at our friends'/neighbors' house. We spent almost the entire time outside in their backyard, the weather was so nice!

The kids played in the treehouse most of the time, and ate their dinner up there too.

Elena's being a servant to her sister, putting her shoes back on for the umpteenth time.

Isn't she sweet?? And she's cute too!

Chloe and Johanne get along great together. They're the same size, although Jo is a year and half younger! Heather & Andrew breed tall babies, while we Clarks make little ones.
Here's the littlest Clark now. I just wanna kiss her! Look at that cute face! That face is so manipulative, though. Don't be fooled! She's charming for her own benefit.

Men at the Grill.
Makes you want to grunt, just looking at them, doesn't it? Andrew, you make mean burger. They were delicious!
Now this was the most entertaining part of the whole visit- the Wii - and not just for the guys. If you've never watched two grown men air boxing with all their might, you've never lived! It is truly the most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time.

See? We've still got a lot of laugh in us. Thanks so much Heather, for a very fun evening! We all had a great time! Our place next time!

She Laughed At Me!

Sunday, we visited the church where Kyle and I met. We ran into several couples that we had known back in our College & Career days, one of whom we hadn't seen since that time. A lot has changed in 12 years. The mom, my old friend Sandra, introduced me to their 8 year old son and asked which kids were ours. I looked at the kids and said: "All these," with a big smile.
She started laughing and said, "You're funny. No really, all these?" and she's laughing like it's the funniest joke anyone's ever pulled on her. I smiled and said: "Well no, we have one more, but he's 20 and in New York right now." She starts laughing again and then very suddenly, stops.

Her expression turns deadpan.

"Are you guys doing foster care?"

"No."

Then she gets it. You could actually see her brain switch gears. "Oh my goodness, Ginger, that's exactly what you always said you wanted to do. You really adopted!"

That's the first time we've ever gotten that response and it was pretty entertaining. Wish you could've been there.

I Needed This Today

ANYWAY

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help but will attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

~ Kent Keith

This Weekend, Part 1

It may just take all this week to tell you what all we did this weekend. Oh my! I took a lot of pictures! I'll use my scrapbooking rule and start with the most current and work my way backwards.
Saturday, Kyle's parents were supposed to come down for the day to help us with landscaping. You see, Kyle and I both have black thumbs. I'll just leave it at that. Anyway, long story short, Kyle's parents came down WITH a truck full of shrubs and plants! Woo-Hoo!!

Considering that my mom had already given us a lot of flowers, we were completely overwhelmed by the generosity shown to us!

Maya was very eager to plant the begonias.

Chloe did what she is very good at: watching other people work.

Of course, the hardest work was done by the men. Male bonding at its finest.

Isaac also helped with the begonias. Hey Maya, get your hand out of the pic!
Daniel pretty much just carried that stick around, occasionally hitting things with it, while we dug and planted.

In a few weeks you'll be able to see the impatiens we planted in that big terra cotta pot. Be patient! (pun intended)

After the hard work was done, Shirley and I took the kids to the ice cream shop. Isaac stayed to help the men install a new sprinkler system, so that the new plants will have a chance at life.
Look at this girl with her chocolate stained shirt! Geesh. I need to figure out a way to get paid for all my stain treatment wisdom. (Wisdom comes from experience, you know.)
Any ideas??

What They Don't Tell You

. . . about adopting from Liberia:

Saying that the transition will be easier because Liberians speak English is an exaggeration. In fact, saying that Liberians speak English is an exaggeration!
Our three truly have transitioned very well and the fact that they understand English so well has helped significantly. That said, we didn't understand much of what they said for the first month. Maya interpreted for us, because we didn't understand a single thing Isaac said. True to Liberian form, he doesn't say "th", and he rarely says the last sound of common words. He said he needed a bell to hold his pants up, for instance. And he was never full after having a second helping of dinner. He always asked for "terds".

Assume that your child hasn't been schooled at all, even if he has. Liberians learn to read by memorization, for example. Liberian children, for the most part, have no idea what sounds letters make. (Maya came to us an excellent speller, but she didn't know how to read anything at all.) Both Maya and Isaac know how to add fairly well, but if they see "71", they can't tell you what number that is (17, 71, or 701?) Place value is a very confusing concept to them. This will mean starting from scratch when it comes to many areas. Ask me how I know this. In general, children catch up quickly, so this won't be a permanent problem, to be sure. But it is best to be prepared.

Respect for property will need to be taught. Trash cans are few and far between in Liberia. They eat a banana, or don't eat it, and when they're finished they'll toss it on the floor. This was an easy lesson to learn, but not before finding yesterday's gum under my dining room table.

I wouldn't change a thing and I would do it all over again. More educated and more prepared next time! They are worth it!

Finally! After All This Waiting. . .

It's Splash Park time again! Ya-hoo! We've been waiting for a warm day when we could hit the splashgrounds, since it opens in May. Yesterday was in the low 80s, but the humidity made it feel hot. Good enough! We woke the babes up early from their naps, slid on our suits, and ran out the door.
They made a mad dash from the car to the water. No time to waste!

Isaac was soaked from head to toe within 3 minutes. His favorite spot is under the buckets.
My goodness, my kids are cheesy.



I'm so glad it's this time of year again!

Another Meme

MommaOfMany tagged me for this meme of lists.

What I was doing 10 yrs ago:
May 1998 - I had just finished grad school and we bought our first house. I was about to begin working full-time as a Speech-Language Pathologist. That first year was the only year I worked full-time.

Five things on my to do list for today:

1. go to the library
2. school work
3. go to the Splash Park
4. make French toast for dinner (my favorite!)
5. read Five Little Peppers & How They Grew to the kids

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Fund adoptions for Christian families who want to adopt. Buy 8 houses in a cul de sac, so Kyle & I and each of our kids' families can live together in our own little happy commune-- in a suburb, of course, so we'll still be close to everything we need.

Three of my bad habits:

1. biting my lip
2. getting distracted
3. snacking at night

Five jobs I have had:

1. Cashier at a grocery store (when I was 16)
2. Pizza chef (17-18)
3. Student therapist for children w/ autism
4. ASL interpreter (college)
5. Speech Pathologist (specialized in stuttering, autism, and Alzheimer's)

I tag: The Herd, Katie, Jenna B, Jamie, and you.

Lookie, What I'm Getting!

A new neice or nephew! I'm so excited! We all are actually. Can't wait for Jamie's newest addition to come next year. Woo-Hoo!!

From the Archives

Guess who??

Hint: This is the child who is most like me, both in looks and personality. She is a perfectionist, a good artist (actually that's not at all like me), and she's shy (that used to define me). She was a very easy baby. I did little more than nurse her, change her, and gawk at her the first several months. She is still a peaceful, compliant child. The kind of child I most feared. I didn't want to break her as I am much more confident in my ability to handle a strong-willed child like myself. In that way, we are not at all alike. Praise God for His mercy. :D

Money, Money, Money

I recently received an email, like many I've received, asking about international adoption. One question is on everyone's mind, but few actually ask what they are thinking.

How do families without mountains of savings afford international adoption?

God is a Father to the fatherless. His desire is to see the lonely placed in families (Psalm 68:5-6). Therefore, He will provide whatever you need to adopt internationally if He leads you to do so.

We did not have a mountain of savings. God provided everything we needed.

We were able to pay for the homestudy, and very little more than that. We received a few thousand dollars in donations through Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries' fundraising program. We received a $3,000 grant from Hadassah's Hope, a $5,000 matching grant from Life Song for Orphans (and yes, we were able to get the full $10,000), a $10,000 grant from Shaohannah's Hope, and finally a covenant (no interest) adoption loan from the ABBA Fund that covered the remaining balance.

God is good! All the time! He will provide for His orphaned children.

Trust in Him. Adoption is a walk of faith.


Many blessings,

#18

This morning on The Today Show, Michelle Duggar announced to her kids that she is pregnant with #18! Congratulations, Duggars! And Happy Mother's Day, Michelle.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Julie tagged me for this meme, listing three of my favorite things. Easy, shmeasy. Here we go:

1. My favorite color is orange. It's bold and it's happy.
   
2. My favorite way to unwind is with a bowl of cereal and a magazine. (I subscribe to No Greater Joy, Above Rubies, and Simple Scrapbooks.)
3. My favorite way to spend time and money is on books.

I tag: Heartchild, Jenna B, Lori KY, my sister Jamie, MamaLiz, Jody, Faith, Katie, and Jill.

Ewwww! Gross!

Here's a humorous video about the flu vaccine:

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Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Find out the ingredients in vaccines. Read the label.

Home-Making

Hubby and I are reading this book together and it is so convicting! This book is a gem! It has so many valuable lessons, we usually only read a few pages before we're ready to talk about all we've learned. I highly recommend this old treasure! It's sure to bring new life and joy to your marriage and your home.

Trying My Patience

I do not enjoy teaching math. There, I said it. I don't like it. It forces me to be patient, and patience is one of my greatest weaknesses. I try to complete a lesson each day, but some days, like today, I only get through one page before I decide it would be better for everyone if we just stopped. On those days, my sweet hubby works with them some more in the evening.Because Maya and Isaac weren't schooled prior to joining our family, there are some concepts that are really difficult for them to grasp. This is one of many things adoptive families don't talk about. It's a little embarrassing and quite frustrating when your 9 year old is on a first grade level in some areas. You want so badly for them to catch up quickly. You don't want other kids to notice what they aren't able to do yet. But teaching everything they've missed all those years takes time. And patience.
Isaac isn't reading yet, and Maya is just getting beyond Dick & Jane books. I have to remind myself how long it took my bio kids to learn to read and they were exposed to it all their lives. Isaac hasn't learned all the sounds that letters make. He really struggles to say "th" correctly, because dat sound isn't said over dare in Liberia. Teaching them patiently requires that I depend on the Lord. He is faithful to equip me for the task. I'm so thankful for that.


By the way, Maya learned how to add two and three digit numbers today and Isaac read seven sentences! I'm so proud of them.

Free Book Up For Grabs

Tales from Shakespeare, by Charles & Mary LambThis is for you, all my Charlotte Mason friends. I'll give this book to the first person who can answer this trivia question:

I will be naming one of our chickens, Phronsie. Why?

Caroline R., I'm counting on you to know this!

What Tomato Staking Looks Like

Daniel is my little tomato. He stays with me because he's too impulsive to be trusted without me nearby. He's not a bad kid. In fact, he's a very sweet, very laid-back boy who wants to please me. But he's also VERY impulsive. He acts without thinking most of the time.We've just finished breakfast, and I've read a chapter of The Child's Story Bible. Now I'm reading a few James Whitcomb Riley poems while the big kids draw and the littles play quietly.
Daniel's playing with one of his beloved toy cars and Lydia is coloring. She always needs assistance with this for some reason. (She's really just watching Chloe color, but they're both happy so, whatever.)
Up until now, Daniel has been by my side simply because that's his place at the table. Now the actual tomato staking will take place:
After the reading, Isaac and Chloe work on handwriting. (Maya and Elena write so many stories and letters on their own, they don't really need dedicated writing time.) Daniel's still in his high chair; now he's playing with Kid K'nex.
It's now almost 9:00 and we're starting phonics rotations. Daniel is now playing with Legos at my feet, but the rest of the kids are playing upstairs while Chloe reads to me. Chloe's reading Dick & Jane. (See how she's scrunching up her face? She reads in these funny voices. It's very strange, but very funny.) After she finishes, she'll go upstairs to play and send someone else down to read to me.
Now Chloe and Maya are upstairs playing with Liddy and I have Elena coach Isaac through his phonics lesson, while Daniel & I unload the dishwasher. He stays right with me, regardless of what I'm doing, see? He doesn't get into trouble this way. I want him to develop a habit of obedience. One of the key ways I do that is by preventing disobedience.
After we finish our school (no I didn't show you all of it, so sue me), the big kids will do their chores while Daniel helps me with mine. Then he'll help me with dinner preparation by dumping the ingredients in the crock-pot. Of course, he has to take turns with Lydia, who loves crock-potting almost as much as I do.
You get the idea. Tomato staking has been great for him and great for my relationship with him.

Please Don't Do This!

A few months ago, we went out to lunch with a couple and their three young kids. This family does not homeschool, their kids attend public school, and that came up in conversation. The mom was saying that I must have a lot of patience. I told her that patience is a skill I'm working to develop. She said that she's not that organized. I laughed and said I'm not either. Then she pulled out the big guns. The argument that supposedly doesn't have a rebuttal:

"I'm just selfish. I love having my kids out of the house."

So you don't homeschool. Fine. But please, please

Don't say that the reason you don't teach your kids is because you don't enjoy them!

EVERYONE is selfish. We were born that way. It's called a sin nature. With selfishness, comes bondage. There is freedom and joy in selflessness. But I'm getting sidetracked.
You should have seen the dejected looks on the faces of this woman's poor kids. They will always remember that a clean house and relaxation is far more desirable to their mommy than time spent with them.
Regardless of who teaches your children, please watch your words.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,

children a reward from Him.

~Psalm 127:3

Older women, admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

~Titus 2:3-5

Is Handwriting a Lost Art?

I'm trying to decide between teaching my girls (Maya & Elena) cursive or typing this year. It seems that no one writes in cursive anymore. I lost my beautiful handwriting sometime in grad school. (There's a reason doctors have awful handwriting. It's a skill you lose while taking notes at lightning speed.) Now I mainly just print. And I, um, do quite a bit of typing.

So, what do you think?

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