Grieving with Hope: Chapman Family Update

Be blessed by this story and continue to lift them up in prayer:

Chapmans on Good Morning America

Love Letters

This morning, Kyle and I found this note under our door when we crawled out of bed. We hit the sack before Pedro got home. Don't we have a thoughtful son?
It was a reminder to me to be more faithful with love notes to my kids. I will never forget the notes I got from my dad growing up. They encouraged me for years! I love writing little notes to my kids too. An encouraging word is edifying, but a written encouragement lasts much longer.
Do you write notes to your kids? Your husband?

Oh, and by the way. . .

Our phone/internet company came by yesterday and long, painful story short, we don't have any internet for the next couple of days. Trust me, I miss you much more than you miss me.

Fowl Friends

Yesterday, Elena suffered an attack by Dinah the Killer Chicken. Look at those evil eyes! And poor Elena was red with fright! (or was that just from the heat?)
Isaac seems to be glowing too. Must be the love he feels for his Chicken Jane. How sweet.
Maya's chicken seems so much more tame. I wonder why that is? You say because Maya's not the crazy chicken wrangler that my other kids seem to be? Well maybe you're right. Maybe, just this once, you're right. Maya's got some sense in her noggin. She's not looking to be pooped on. Wise girl.
We have now entered the hottest month of the year. I can hardly wait for it to end. I stood out there just long enough to snap these shots, then I darted back in to the air conditioning. Recreational sweating is not my idea of a good time.

Love of Choice

Before Kyle and I had kids, adoption was on my heart. It has always been on my heart, as long as I can remember. I remember talking to my mom about it when we were just newlyweds. She said: How can you love an adopted child the way you love your own flesh and blood?
I was shocked! I dismissed this notion quickly and after Elena was born, I was all the more convinced. I didn't love Elena because I gave birth to her. I love her because she's mine!
Pedro, Maya, Isaac, and Daniel are mine as well, but falling in love with them wasn't automatic. I had to get to know them. I've always known Elena. She has no history apart from me. Our adopted children already had developed or developing personalities when they joined our family. Loving an adopted child is a choice of the will. It truly is a ministry. I don't have to love them. I choose to love them. This is agape love at it's most pure.

How We Met

Way back in 1995, Kyle and I met in our college & career class at church. I was the activities director and made announcements every week for our upcoming social events. Kyle was quiet, preppy, and good-looking! He had just moved to town from Oklahoma. That's about all I knew about him.

A friend of mine, Rick, organized monthly outreach trips to the juvenile detention center. Our next trip was coming up soon and Rick found a Christian rapper (aka hip hop artist) to come and perform for the teens. Rick called me to tell me that I should make sure Kyle knew about our outreach because he "likes rap too". (I was a huge fan of DC Talk and other Christian rap artists.)
So, I called Kyle. Young ladies, do not imitate me in this. Girls should not be calling boys. But I digress. As soon as I introduced myself, Kyle said: I was just about to call you!
Me??? Why??? (Big grin on my face at this point.)
"I wanted to ask you out."
(HUGE grin on my face now.)

So, Kyle went with us on our trip to the juvenile detention center, but he was so shy, I didn't really get to know him much. [Side note: as a child, I was painfully shy, but by the time I was in college, no one would have ever guessed that!] The next day, Kyle took me out on another college & career event: Broomball at the local ice skating rink. No one knew we were on a date, and that made it pretty fun. Kyle was still quite shy, but I got him to talk. I just didn't give up. I wouldn't let him stay quiet for too long.

[Another side note: As I'm typing this, Kyle is laughing in the kitchen. He said: "Chloe is definitely your daughter, Ginger!" (The two of them were in the kitchen alone as he made her lunch.) "She's waiting on me to make her lunch and she said: Daddy, talk to me." So he asked her, "About what?" "Anything," she replied.]
At the end of our broomball date, Kyle said: That was a lot of fun. We should do that again.
That sounded like a line to me, so I got bold: "Great! When?"

Kyle told me later that if I hadn't asked that, he probably wouldn't have asked me out again. He didn't think I'd had a good time with him.

So, we owe DC Talk a huge debt of gratitude for bringing Kyle and I together. If it weren't for Christian hip hop, we might never have gotten together. (That's a joke. I'm being facetious.) Maybe we owe our marriage to the fact that I recovered from childhood shyness. lol

On Sympathy

I recently received a private message on a Mommies forum that I'm a part of. The message went something like this: We really appreciate your input and your unique perspective, blah, blah, blah, but we'd like you to be nicer.
You're in shock that anyone would think me less than nice? How sweet of you. See, I'm blunt. I'm a bottom line kind of girl. When someone asks my advice, I give it to them. On this particular forum, when moms ask "What should I do?", what they mostly get is {{HUGS}} and sympathy. "Oh you poor thing. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time."
My response tends to be more like this: Do this and this and it will be so much easier. It doesn't have to be that hard. Let me know how it goes.
To be perfectly honest, it perturbs me just a bit when people seek advice when what they really want is sympathy. Not that I never want sympathy myself, you understand. But when I want sympathy, you'll know. I won't be asking for advice.

I'm Curious: Which is easier for you to give, solutions or sympathy?