Judgement

I got an anonymous comment recently on my Everything On My Mind post. Someone really didn't like that it made me sad when institutionalized children are put into government schools all day every day. She thought I was being judgmental.

I would like to clarify that to judge someone is to make an assumption about the motives behind what they do. To judge does not mean to look down upon.

Neither of these is how I feel about parents whose children are in public schools. I do not make any negative assumptions about why they public school, nor do I look down on them.

I feel very sad for children who are brought up in orphanages and then their adoptive families feel the need to place them in public schools for 8 hours Monday through Friday. I am sad for those children. That is not the same thing as saying I think ill of the parents. I do not.

I tend to think that most parents who choose government education do so because it's what they know.

The commenter who did not want to be known stated that all parents do what they think is best for their children. I think that is a really big assumption to make. In my experience, many parents don't think about educational options or what they think is the very best for their child. They just do what they know.

And I do not look down on them for that.

For my first three children, I never considered any other option other than disposable diapers. Cloth diapers never even occurred to me. I didn't know why parents would choose that and it didn't sound at all desirable. When I was pregnant with Lydia, I started looking into options. I really started researching it. Suddenly, I didn't just do what I knew. In the end, I chose cloth diapering for the financial savings.

With Julia and with this baby, I know all the options and I have chosen disposables again. lol Do you look down on me for my choice? Are you making assumptions about why I chose disposables instead of cloth? Yea, I doubt it.

How Twins Are Made

So this is how they do it!

Everything On My Mind

I've had a lot of emotions swirling through my head lately about adoption. Is it just me or do all women have way too much on their minds all the time? lol

Things that make me sad:

• People who weren't at all excited about our adoption, but who have been thrilled with our pregnancy announcements since then. That really hurts. What was it about our adoptees that wasn't worth celebrating as well?
• The silence and privacy that exist in adoptive communities. Adoptive families don't feel safe being honest about their unique issues.
• Children who are adopted and then put in public school all day every day. You just adopted them out of an institution; please oh please don't put them back in one.

Things that concern me:

• Maya and Isaac's grammar. When is it going to be easier for them? (I've learned that adoptees of foreign language-speaking countries learn English at a much quicker rate than children who grow up learning improper English. My kids aren't learning a new language; they're unlearning the wrong way of speaking it.)
• Isaac's anxiety. He forever fears getting in trouble or being wrong, although both are rare for him. His extreme perfectionism really brings me to my knees for him.
• Isaac's language skills. Vocabulary building has been a painfully slow process for him. There are still an awful lot of phrases he just doesn't understand yet.

Things I'm really proud of:

• Maya's domestic skills. That girl is just good at everything related to the home. She loves to bake, she can confidently cook all of our dinners, she knits, she sews by hand (working on machine sewing), she enjoys cleaning. Good grief, she's amazing!
• Isaac's desire to be a gentleman. He gets upset if I get the stroller out of the van instead of letting him do it. He always opens doors for us. He's a great hubby & daddy in the making.
• Daniel's love for me. His impulsiveness gets him in more trouble than any other Clark, but that boy bounces back quick with a smile and a hug. Impresses the heck out of me.
• The passion all of my kids have for adoption. They see the great need and the great value. I'm so thankful.

Nature Study from Home

Robins: 4 Eggs, 4 Weeks from Fred Margulies on Vimeo.

More Creative Vocabulary by Maya

Maya: You owe me some bacons.

Me: What does that mean?

Maya: You know- dollars.

Me: Where did you hear that?

Maya: Mr. Incredible says: Bye Honey, I'm going to bring home the bacon!
Me: Ah, gotcha!

Kyle and I were watching a movie about British kings when the kids came downstairs for hugs and kisses before bedtime. As soon as Maya heard the British accents, she started giggling.

Kyle: What's so funny, Maya?

Maya: I just love the way they talk. It's so. . . so revine!

Me: What does revine mean?

Maya: It's my own made-up word. You don't want to know what it means.

Elena: I think you mean divine, Maya.

Maya: Right. Divine.

Maya's personal language is just so very close to English, it's often hard for us to tell if she's saying words correctly or not. The other night, we were talking about our upcoming trip to Colorado and Maya said, in her fancy schmancy made-up accent:

I can't wait to go to Coderado!

We couldn't tell if she was just trilling too many letters or if she really wasn't saying it right. We asked her to repeat it.

Maya: Coderado? (She's unsure because she knows we hear something wrong.)

Kyle: How do you spell Colorado?

Maya: C O T E R . . .

In unison, Kyle and I said: Ohhhhhh! No wonder you're saying it that way!

My Other Baby Lover

Out of all my (biological) girls, Julia is the only one who truly loves baby dolls at her young age. I have always wanted my girls to love their baby dolls, but that always came much later.

Aside from "Daddy" (and we're not going to talk about the fact that she said his name almost a full year before mine), one of Julia's first words was "baby".

She says it all the time. As soon as she finishes a meal, she looks around and asks: Baby? Baby?

If I lay her baby down, she looks to make sure she knows what I've done with it before moving on.

She loves to point out her babies' eyes, nose, ears, and mouth.

She carries her babies absolutely everywhere and I just love it!

I am hoping that this baby love will translate to her baby sister or brother.

I am also hoping she doesn't poke her baby sibling in the eye.

Maya the Motherly

Maya absolutely adores Julia. Someone at church asked her if she was excited about having another baby in the house and her smile spread from ear to ear as she answered. This girl was just made for motherhood. Julia calls me Mommy, and calls Maya "Mama". I choose to believe it's just the way she pronounces Maya.

This was one of the pictures we got of Maya prior to her adoption:

They referred to Maya as a junior nanny at the orphanage. No wonder why.

When we told the kids we were expecting another baby, you would have thought that we were doing it just for the kids. They were all so excited about the news. But Maya. . . Well, Maya was a different story. She was absolutely beside herself.

I look forward to many beautiful grandchildren from my beautiful Maya.