Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Everything On My Mind

I've had a lot of emotions swirling through my head lately about adoption. Is it just me or do all women have way too much on their minds all the time? lol

Things that make me sad:
  • People who weren't at all excited about our adoption, but who have been thrilled with our pregnancy announcements since then. That really hurts. What was it about our adoptees that wasn't worth celebrating as well?
  • The silence and privacy that exist in adoptive communities. Adoptive families don't feel safe being honest about their unique issues.
  • Children who are adopted and then put in public school all day every day. You just adopted them out of an institution; please oh please don't put them back in one.
Things that concern me:
  • Maya and Isaac's grammar. When is it going to be easier for them? (I've learned that adoptees of foreign language-speaking countries learn English at a much quicker rate than children who grow up learning improper English. My kids aren't learning a new language; they're unlearning the wrong way of speaking it.)
  • Isaac's anxiety. He forever fears getting in trouble or being wrong, although both are rare for him. His extreme perfectionism really brings me to my knees for him.
  • Isaac's language skills. Vocabulary building has been a painfully slow process for him. There are still an awful lot of phrases he just doesn't understand yet.
Things I'm really proud of:
  • Maya's domestic skills. That girl is just good at everything related to the home. She loves to bake, she can confidently cook all of our dinners, she knits, she sews by hand (working on machine sewing), she enjoys cleaning. Good grief, she's amazing!
  • Isaac's desire to be a gentleman. He gets upset if I get the stroller out of the van instead of letting him do it. He always opens doors for us. He's a great hubby & daddy in the making.
  • Daniel's love for me. His impulsiveness gets him in more trouble than any other Clark, but that boy bounces back quick with a smile and a hug. Impresses the heck out of me.
  • The passion all of my kids have for adoption. They see the great need and the great value. I'm so thankful.


Tereza Crump aka MyTreasuredCreations said...

I hear you when you voice your concerns.. I have many of them too with 4 children under 8y.o.

I have recently found Whole Heart Ministries and have been reading Sally Clarkson books: the Mission of Motherhood, the Ministry of Motherhood and she has another one on the seasons of motherhood. These books have really helped me to understand timing, perseverance and trust in God.

I have already seen some of my prayers answered. Another thing that has helped me is to believe what I want to see and expect it to happen and voice what I would like to see. When my dd8 is trying to have a tantrum I say "oh, I thank God for my sweet obedient children. They are gentle and can control their emotions." It immediately stops her in her tracks. BTW, she has improved 200% in just a couple of weeks.

God is good.. Trust and believe. Go to Jesus like the woman with the issue of blood "if I could just touch the hem of his garments I will be healed." Touch Him today and see your miracle.

Blessings, :)

Ginger said...

I love Sally Clarkson's books. I listed several of them on my My Favorite Parenting Books blogpost.

Re: speaking what I would like to see-- I think if I started saying: "Lord I thank you for Maya's improved grammar and Isaac's improved English skills" that would just insult them. I don't see that helping their confidence at all.
I am proud of their tenacity though. English learning has been such a huge challenge for them.

debhmom3 said...

Interesting what you said about the pregnancy vs. adoption excitement. We have expressed interest in adopting and my family is not enthusiastic about it at all. It makes me worry that would not treat all of our children equally, based on biology. Sad. :(

Ginger said...

Deb, that has not turned out to be true for our family. Those family members who weren't excited about our adoption at all are in love with the children they didn't want us to adopt. ;)