Friday, May 2, 2008

Please Don't Do This!

A few months ago, we went out to lunch with a couple and their three young kids. This family does not homeschool, their kids attend public school, and that came up in conversation. The mom was saying that I must have a lot of patience. I told her that patience is a skill I'm working to develop. She said that she's not that organized. I laughed and said I'm not either. Then she pulled out the big guns. The argument that supposedly doesn't have a rebuttal:

"I'm just selfish. I love having my kids out of the house."

So you don't homeschool. Fine. But please, please

Don't say that the reason you don't teach your kids is because you don't enjoy them!

EVERYONE is selfish. We were born that way. It's called a sin nature. With selfishness, comes bondage. There is freedom and joy in selflessness. But I'm getting sidetracked.
You should have seen the dejected looks on the faces of this woman's poor kids. They will always remember that a clean house and relaxation is far more desirable to their mommy than time spent with them.
Regardless of who teaches your children, please watch your words.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from Him.

~Psalm 127:3

Older women, admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

~Titus 2:3-5


Annette said...


Jenni said...

Oh my. People do need to think before they speak that way in front of their children. I have had people tell me how they cannot wait until their children graduate high school so they can get them out of the house. Said of course in front of their children, at Church no less. Lately, I am constantly informed as to how "brave I must be", EVERYWHERE I go. I have come up with a good response to many other comments, but I am at a loss as to how to respond to that one. Any ideas?

Mark & Jody said...

I thought your 'Don't Do This' title was referring to not sitting around in your tattered bathrobe with a Woe-is-my-Life countenance and an attention-needing toddler climbing on your lap who is also still in her nightgown at noon.

And I was beginning to wonder how you installed the spy-cam into my house!

Then I read the rest of your post. Then I made my kids get dressed.

Ginger said...

You're too funny, Jody. Now get out of your bathrobe and be thankful! :D

You're a good mommy and you're very blessed.

Mark & Jody said...

Okay, I don't usually have the woe-is-me look. I actually usually enjoy my life! But I am still in my bathrobe! :)

Ginger said...

I know that Jody. If you were always had the woe-is-me type, I wouldn't bother with the encouragement. HA!

Jill said...

Thats very sad,may we pray her eyes ,heart and mind will be opened.

Jeffrey said...

And you didn't say "Gosh, that's too bad!" with a very sad look and maybe a "I'll take 'em off your hands if they are too much trouble."


MommaofMany said...

I have had mothers ask me, in front of their children, if I want their kids, too. I always say how lovely they are and I'm sure they are simply a joy to be with and I'd love to have them! The disrespect and lack of love from their parents really does hurt their little hearts. It's quite sad.

Ginger said...

This is one example. This happens all the time. It's not limited to non-Christians who view children as burdens. May believers have been deceived into thinking the same thing!

Jill said...

I've mostly heard this from believers. I think it may just be guilt though. Perhaps I'm wrong but it seems that way.

By the way, did you create your Above Rubies button yourself? I'd love to have one for my blog. Love that ministry.

Lisa said...

How very sad. People usually WANT to have those babies so badly - until they have them. My oldest two are 21 and 22 and both have moved out on their own in the past year. I am still grieving not having them here every day, even though I have eight more to keep me busy at home. My oldest son gave me a kiss goodbye every time he left the house and before bed every night until the day he moved out - I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. My daughter moved out yesterday and has already called to chat - I miss them so much, I can't imagine pushing them off on other people all day, five days a week, they grow up so darn fast!

Anonymous said...

I was on Vaca with my family when a mom told me I must be crazy-in front of her kid. She went on to say that she cannot wait until next year when she can drop him off at Public School for a few hours of peace. If we do not see peace when we look at our children's faces, then maybe we should consider the seeds planted in their hearts. Just sying...Heather

Amber said...

It drives me nuts to hear folks say such things about their kids! Hannah is five and since she came home when she was 2, I've only had 34 months with her. I can't imagine not wanting to be with her - even when she's being a stinker! I love to tell her that today was the best day of my life because I got to spend it with her!

Lori in KY said...

That always breaks my heart, and I can't imagine what the children must feel who hear that from their momma of all people, who should love them most of all!

Angela said...

So heartbreaking!

May our hearts and words always display Christ's love and our love to our children.

Praying for that mother.

God bless...Angela