Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Where Did All the Manners Go?

I've been noticing a consistent pattern lately. Whenever I'm out with the kids and one of the kids gets in the way of an adult, the adult just stands there silent and irritated. I can see that they're annoyed, but while the child is oblivious, they just try to will the child to move. They never say: Excuse me.
This happens fairly frequently and I'm wondering why adults will speak to other adults, but treat a child as if they should just read the adult's mind. I don't get it. A couple of times I have said, smiling sweetly: If you'll just say excuse me, they'll move out of the way.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe adults don't talk to other adults either. What do you think?


mommy4 said...

I think this only happens to bigger families and heres why. Some adults look at children as a bother and not the way we see them, a blessing. So because of this they look at larger families as a burden, to them, and to society. They think to themselves, "She has too many to control", when in actuallity if adults used their manners the way they want children to, they model by example. But it must be too hard for strangers to make an effort so they come off as irritated and annoyed. I have encountered this same problem sooooo many times.

Faith said...

Ginger! It is so funny that you posted this because I have been thinking the same thing! However, it is not usually just one of the kids that is in the way but the whole lot of us with a cart or stroller. We always try to move over to the side(cause 5 little people, one medium and one big definitely take some room) but there are at least 2 or 3 people that won't say excuse me if we are in the way and I am looking at something and oblivious to them. Many times I will say, "Excuse us" as we go down the aisle and I almost NEVER get a "No problem" or something acknowledging that I had just spoken to them. There are even some times when I think the woman(it has never been a man yet) would shoot daggers from her eyes if she could.
Yes, manners are definitely declining.

Nealy said...

I've always been annoyed by the adult checkers at a fast food restaurant, who totally IGNORE children who bravely step up to the counter to order something. Rudeness prevails!

MotherOfBlessings said...

We have also run into this at the store. We have 7 children but only 6 are walking. Since my goal is to get my children out of the way I borrowed a trick from the military. My hubby has be in for over 20 years so some things tend to rub off. :) I just call out (not yelling) "Make a hole!" and they part like the red sea. But sadly, most adults do seem annoyed with our "large" family.

Missy said...

i can't count the times we have had this terribly frustrating.

mommy4 said...

I have one more thought. Yes, a day late but I'm a thinkin woman. I have one little boy in house and I am trying my hardest to teach him how to treat others. He tends to be very rough, hmm wonder why. Well my little guy who weighs maybe 30 pounds soaked down opens the doors for his three sisters and his Momma everywhere we go. I get sad and annoyed when I see him open the door with all his might and after letting us through the door, others seem to take advantage and pass on through. Some grown men have even done this. Usually the doors are very heavy for him and sometimes you can here him grunt and say "please hurry its heavy!" My girls and I are use to this and quickly tell him thank you. I have noticed, on more than one occasion, the people who pass through the opened door don't even bother to acknowledge that he's even there. I mean really who do they think they are? Even Jesus the king of kings would have said thank you. So I always make it a point to thank him loudly and tell him how proud I am of him serving others. The problem with kids who were never taught manners is that they grow up to be adults with terrible manners!! OK, I'm done! But if you ever see a little boy with three sisters and a Momma, tell him "THANK YOU", I promise it won't hurt!!

Shell said...

I think I'll chime in on this one. This has truly been one of my biggest pet peeves lately. I know I shouldn't be annoyed and ignore rude or mannerless people but, lately it seems there are so many of them. Driving, shopping, walking, talking and even on the phone and visiting some people. I can't help myself sometimes and say them, "Well, excuse you"!

Thanks for sharing the fustration and helping me realize I'm not just the only one annoyed lately.


Beth said...

This is probably not very nice, but when a child of mine holds a door open for an adult and they don't say a word, I say in a loud voice, "Thank you, _____, that was very nice of you to hold the door for that woman/man."
You can be rude to me, but DON'T be rude to my child! LOL!

Kidcraze said...

Ditto what Faith said. I could have written that word-for-word.

I agree that most folks these days seem to just see children as an inconvenience and have very low expectations of them.

CK said...

I always try to talk directly to the child in these kinds of situations, but I've also been yelled at by mothers for doing so (because they thought I was correcting their child? Not sure why). So I have become sensitive about talking directly to children.

I doubt that's the reason behind what you are seeing, but just pointing out that rudeness can go both ways.

Jenni said...

I have had similar experiences.
If I notice it occuring, I usually smile at my children and say something like "Part the waters please!"

And for the record, I have done the same thing as Beth regarding my son holding open a door for us. If a deluge of other people come through without acknowledging him, I thank him loudly for being such a helpful gentleman!