Wednesday, June 22, 2011

What Adoption Looks Like Day to Day: Isaac

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Isaac is fiercely protective of his little brother, an encouraging friend to those who know him, and has a smile that is constantly gaining him compliments and affection.
He also has a lot of anxiety. In fact, this was the way his escort described him when she handed him off to us. I wonder if she knew how very insightful that little comment was.

-Everyday during school breaks, the kids do a math drill online. Isaac was consistently scoring 60%. But when I turned off the timer, his accuracy immediately shot up to a steady 80-90%. Timers do not motivate him. Instead, they act like a vice on his brain.
-When I was having Isaac read to me daily, he sat rigidly straight and was jittery the whole time.
-Any time someone asks him a question (thus putting him on the spot), his first response is always: "Wait" and then he thinks about what he wants to say. Just being put on the spot makes his brain freeze and he can't think of the words he wants to say. Many times, he just gives up and says: "Oh nevermind." As his vocabulary has grown, this has improved, but not significantly. It's not that he doesn't know the words he wants to say, he just can't recall them under pressure.

Isaac's anxieties likely come from fears he had about being adopted. Many orphanage workers tell children that if they don't behave, their adoptive family will send them back. The fear of rejection is very real. Sadly, no amount of reason can change this thinking. Only unconditional love, over long periods of time will ease it. Prayer is my most powerful weapon when it comes to the spiritual battles surrounding adoption.

What a gift it is to be given the responsibility of teaching Isaac that God's love for him is unconditional. We teach him this through God's Word and through our love.

3 comments:

Moma Chas said...

This is so beautiful, Ginger! I would love to wrap up a new one in my arms. Blessings to you and your precious family!

Alysun said...

I can't tell you how encouraging your beautiful words about your kids are to me. I don't know you, yet reading uplifting thoughts from another mom just makes my day. Your Isaac is a fantastic child! I can tell you are working hard to understand him, teach him in the way he learns best, and love him unconditionally.

Nealy said...

Isaac's beautiful smile make his thoughtful words worth the wait!