One big issue our older adoptees have is their difficulty communicating their needs or emotions. In Liberia, it wasn't safe to communicate needs or emotions or ask for help. So they learned not to. Unlearning that is a monumental task.
I've had to deal with my big fears of their future if they don't grow in this area. I've spent much time worrying how they will communicate with a spouse, should they marry. I've recently realized that their spouses will just have to learn what we have: how to communicate with someone who doesn't. It has been sanctifying for us and it will be sanctifying for their spouses.
We were teasing Isaac the other night because he was obviously wanting something from Kyle but wasn't asking. I held him by the shoulder and had a huge smile on my face as I said:
If it's God's will for you to marry, we'll be training your fiance in how to communicate with Isaac:
When he's mad, he won't tell you, but he'll act like this and you need to ask if he's mad.
When he wants something, he won't tell you, but he'll act like this and you need to ask what he wants.When he's sad, he won't tell you, but he'll act like this and you need to ask what he's sad about. Etc, etc. You get the idea.