Teaching Children to Think, Part 2

Part 1 here.

Here's how I "micro-manage" my kids:

I don't wait around for them to forget to do something. In the beginning, I tell them what to do. I'll say: "I'm making dinner. Ya'll set the table." Or, "We're leaving in 10 minutes. Everyone should be dressed to the shoes with teeth brushed." Or, "Dinner's over now. Let's do our table chores."

I do this for months. These are not new things. We always do these things. It's just that now I'm spelling everything out. I'm not expecting them to think of any of it on their own. Expecting it just gives me opportunity to be frustrated and criticize my precious kids.

After several months of this, I switch to asking questions. "I'm cooking dinner. What do you all need to do, so we can eat?", "Now that your laundry is dry, what should you do next?", "What are your chores today? What do you need to do next?"

My life has gotten easier, not harder. Life runs more smoothly. And my kids have many opportunities to be praised, not criticized. What a concept!

Teaching Children to Think, Part 1

Children aren't born knowing how to think. I used to think: Hey, they have a brain. Why don't they use the thing? We clean our dishes after every meal every day, why do I have to remind them to do it?

I own a basin wrench. That doesn't mean I know how to use it.

We've been stripping cabinets and repainting them. We have a trash can in the garage to collect all the dirty paper towels and such. Daniel's job is to collect trash cans. He came into the garage, where I was priming cabinet doors, to get the trash can. He left the door open and Misha made a mad dash for freedom. I yelled: Grab Misha! She can't be out here!

Daniel, with hands around the trash can, panicked. "I can't!"

He couldn't figure out how in the world to get Misha when his hands were full.

I used to think I shouldn't have to micro-manage my kids. They know what we do every day. They know what's expected. They should just do it. Micro-managing would make my life harder, I reasoned.

I was wrong. I was forever frustrated with all the things they forgot. And then I started to see all the times I left my plate on the table. Or got sidetracked and left my pajamas on the floor while I ran downstairs to do something "urgent". And I started micro-managing my kids.

Part 2 here.

I'm Spoiled

I love homeschooling for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is hitting all the attractions when everyone else is in school. I love going to the zoo when it's fairly empty. The kids love getting on the carousel over and over again because there's no line.

And we love taking our family vacations when schools have just started back. (We went to Great Wolf Lodge in early April after all the Spring Breaks had just ended. We practically had the whole place to ourself.)
We try to go to Colorado once a year, usually at the end of summer when the Texas heat is unbearable. (Despite how great the kids are in the car, the 13 hour drive pushes my sanity to the outer limits.)

This year, we did something a little different. Since our drive when Lydia was a baby was really really stressful for me (listening to a crying baby that I can't help unravels me completely), we decided not to repeat that mistake. Kyle drove all the kids and I flew with Julia. We were upgraded to first class on the way there, thanks to a baby-loving attendant. It was awesome! Unfortunately I didn't get upgraded on the way home, but was in a window seat next to two men. The flight made me very grateful for home. But I did learn some things:

1. When you have a baby with you and you make a joke about being ready to get off this plane already, people assume you mean because you're with a baby. Not at all what I meant.

2. When you're having a great conversation with another traveling mommy and she finds out you have a lot more children and homeschool, you'll need to find a new conversationalist.

3. Other moms enjoy interacting with your social baby. Single men, on the other hand, don't like having their arm stroked by a fat baby hand. (I can't imagine why. I love it!)

4. You should never never board a puddle jumper with a baby and a full bladder. It makes for a very painful flight.

5. Bumpy rides in a car- not scary. Bumpy rides in a plane- unnerving. When we landed, I announced to the college students near me: I didn't scream even once! (and bowing dramatically) Thank you!

They looked at me funny and said You're welcome.

Sheesh.

It's Not Him, It's God

I love this man. He's really good to me and he loves the Lord and he's good-looking, but he ain't perfect. I won't lie to ya.

If I had a nickel for every time somebody told me: "That's great that you can adopt/homeschool/homebirth/have a bunch of kids. I'd love to do that, but my husband won't go for it," I'd have a big pile of nickels!

It's worth it to submit to your husband's leadership. God will be glorified. This doesn't mean you can't respectfully (with emphasis on "respectfully") talk to him about your convictions. But you are not your husband's Holy Spirit!

When we try to coerce our hubbies into doing something they don't want to do, we show God that we don't truly trust Him. Prayer is more powerful than our words.

I have wanted to adopt since I was a child. Kyle has always said: If we can't have children, we can adopt.

I prayed. Not for God to change Kyle's heart, but for God to do what He wanted to in our family.

It was Kyle's decision to pursue adoption. To God's glory!

And then a year or two after the adoption when I was ready to add to our family again, Kyle was adamant that we were done!

I prayed. I wanted God to change Kyle's heart, but I prayed that God would do what He wanted to in our family. I needed to learn to be content.

Guess whose decision it was to try to conceive again? Kyle's. To God's glory!

Follow your man's lead and put your trust in God.

HE is faithful!

How Did We Do That??

I was looking through old posts and ran across this one of Lydia. I love that video. I called Kyle in to watch it with me. She was our Liddy Bitty back then. She was only three. Now she's 5 1/2 and her school days are fast approaching.

I was watching that video of my young Lydia and then I looked at the date. That was a YEAR after the adoption. I looked at Kyle and said: How did we do that?! We had 2 two-year-olds!! (One of them with major adoption trauma issues.)

God promises He will not give us more than we can bear. And He was faithful. We could bear it. Looking back, I know it was only by God's grace. Those times were HARD!

I remember Daniel's awful digestive issues. Kyle and I were nauseous until noon in those days, that's all I'm saying. After taking him to the doctor, thinking something was terribly wrong, we were informed that we were overfeeding him. What?! (Well, duh, his little tummy couldn't handle a generous American diet.)

The triplets had only been home a week and we were introducing them to family. They wanted to give Daniel a piece of cake, but I only let them give him a little piece. {Looks of judgment from all directions.}

When he finished it, he wanted more but we kindly said no. He started crying. Now they weren't just looks of judgment, they were words. "Give the poor boy another piece of cake! He wants more!"

We stood firm, but man was it hard.

Those days were hard. By God's grace, we are well past those days.

New Baby in the Family

For those who know me IRL, this is a total shock. For those who don't, I'm the last person anyone would expect to get a puppy. I'm allergic to everything with fur it seems. We paid the big bucks to get a Devon Rex kitty so we could have a hypoallergenic pet. And I love Misha kitty. But Misha loves Kyle.

Poor me.

So I researched hypoallergenic dogs until my eyes crossed. Most all "hypoallergenic" dogs aren't really. That, or it was just coincidence that I started gasping for breath while around them. I'm so high maintenance. {sigh}

Above is the puppy pic we feel in love with. She's a powderpuff Chinese Crested.

So now we're that family with two exotic animals. Oh my. We're becoming more and more like the weirdos everyone already thought we were.

See? We aren't weird! (yet) I'm sure there are more levels of weirdness we haven't even explored yet. (Anyone know what they are?? I can't imagine.)

Miss Mattie is now in a pony cut, so she looks more like a Chinese Crested. You can't quite see her mane, but she looks like an itty bitty Clydesdale.

We surprised the kids by picking her up 2 weeks earlier than they were expecting. Totally fooled them. It was a blast keeping the secret from them. I'm terrible at keeping secrets, so this was a real accomplishment. And my head nearly spun right off my neck from holding it all in.

Elena had created a countdown chain with everyone's name on a link, so they could take turns cutting them off. On the end, she drew a teeny weeny dog. I don't think anybody minded cutting the whole chain apart in one evening. ;)

Pulling the Wool over Our Eyes

I'm curious what you think about all the "Christians" who are throwing themselves behind Glenn Beck for his "get back to God" preaching. Why isn't anybody asking which god he's talking about?