How I Got Here, Part 3

When Elena and Chloe were still preschoolers, my plan was to work part-time while they attended private school. But God changed my heart. He taught me that children truly are a blessing and motherhood is a valuable ministry. I realized that I couldn’t truly disciple my children if they were under the influence of others the majority of their day.

The questions for me then were: What and how am I going to teach them?

At the first homeschool bookfair I attended, I was completely overwhelmed by the number of choices of curricula available. Why do so many people think that a teacher must know everything in order to teach it to someone else? Have they forgotten that their teachers used answer keys to grade their papers? At the private school I attended, I learned almost no fine arts. I could not have explained how Picasso and Van Gogh were different. But with my handy dandy library card, I can teach my kids all about van Gogh’s blue and rose periods and Picasso’s cubism. With the MathUSee dvds, I can teach basic algebra to my 2^nd grader. With any number of phonics books, I can follow the scripts and teach my children to be successful readers.

I love that I am learning right along with my kids. All through school, I never understood the point of learning history. It was just a bunch of names and dates and places that had no meaning to me. (Thank you, textbooks.) But I am learning so much about our interesting world history through all the living books I read to my children. Just by pointing out the places we read about in the books we read, I now have excellent geography skills. Homeschooling has given me a second chance at a quality education.

How I Got Here, Part 1

When Elena and Chloe were little, all my friends were talking about educational choices for their kids. It was the new hot topic. I had planned to work part-time, so the girls could go to a Christian school. (Back then, we had 2 kids with no plans for any more.) I laughed when people suggested homeschooling. I wasn't one of those moms who enjoyed being with my kids all day; how could I possibly have the patience to homeschool them??

I had a very hard time adjusting to being the mother of two. In fact, it was so hard for me, I went back to work so that I could put them in Mother's Day Out. I needed some Me Time! I just knew some time away each day would help me adjust.

But it didn't. It made it worse. When I was at work, I was thinking about my kids and when I was at home, I was thinking about my duties at work. I was never fully engaged in either.

Then a mentor friend gave me a copy of The Mission of Motherhood and I began to understand for the first time the value of motherhood and the blessing of my children. Kyle and I decided that I should quit work and stay at home with my girls. It took time, but being fully engaged at home allowed me to adjust to motherhood and I became more commited to my role as mother.

To be continued. . .

How We Got Here

As a family, we are not remotely who we thought we would be when we married. Kyle wanted three kids, I wanted four. (I guess we both got what we wanted!) I wanted to have our kids in a hospital with a strong epidural, not at home like those granola women! Education is one of many decisions that changed for us gradually.

I planned to work part-time while my kids were in private school. There are a lot of things we assumed we wouldn't do because, frankly, we didn't know enough about them. Private schooling is the norm among our friends. I knew about homeschooling, but figured that's how to grow nerds and geeks. Aren't all homeschoolers socially awkward at best?? Through meeting more home school families I learned that the children who were nerds were raised by nerds. It had less to do with homeschooling, than with genetics. (I'm being a little bit facetious, I hope you get that.)

One family that I really admired homeschooled their children. Their kids were very sweet, well-behaved and smart, but the thing that stood out to me was their relationship with each other. The siblings had such a close relationship; I was really impressed.

When I find out about some alternative way of doing things, I tend to research it and research it until I understand it. A lot of times, in the process of doing that, I begin to fall in the love with the concept. That's what happened for me with homeschooling. The mother of these impressive children gave me what she considered her homeschooling Bible: "A Charlotte Mason Companion" by Karen Andreola. I had never heard of Charlotte Mason and quite honestly the book overwhelmed me. I didn't read it all, but got the gist and liked it. I knew enough to know I definitely wanted to keep my kids home with me and home school them. In the middle of Elena's kindergarten year, I went back and re-read it. I loved the idea of giving our kids a broad base - a liberal arts education. I also loved the living book and narration concepts. I absolutely love to learn through reading, so I knew I could be passionate about teaching this way. If I don't enjoy teaching, my kids won't enjoy learning, and that was and is my ultimate goal. "A Charlotte Mason Companion" then became the guide for how we home school. At that point we began using Ambleside Online, a free curriculum designed to be as close as possible to the curriculum that Charlotte Mason used in her own schools.

I originally thought homeschooling was weird because I didn't know anything about it. So I learned all I could. There are 101 reasons why we home school. We want to be in charge of our kids' education - not just to know secondhand what they're learning, but to be the one's determining what they learn. We want be the ones to give our kids' a solid Biblical foundation. We want to vacation when everyone else is in school! And the reason that drew us to homeschooling initially: We want our children to have close friendships with their siblings. (As an experienced homeschooler, I now know that close sibling relationships is a fairly consistent characteristic among homeschooling families.)

Although we definitely aren't interested in sending our kids to public school so they can be missionaries (Jesus's ministry began when he was 30, not 6 years old), we do not home school out of fear of anything. We home school because of the benefits.

How I Got Here, Part 2

Reading The Mission of Motherhood, I understood for the first time that my children are my greatest blessings and there is no higher calling or more important job than raising my disciples. I don't need to leave my house in order to do ministry. Everyday, in the way I serve, teach, and train my children, I am investing in disciples for Christ. This does not mean that our call to evangelize the lost is belittled, but those who say that moms of littles can't do ministry are missing the point entirely.

When I understood that raising my disciples for the Lord Jesus was my most important calling, then my view of working changed completely. Suddenly, I understood what a terrible thing I was doing by allowing others to spend more time and thus have more influence over the children the Lord had given to me.

Having decided that I didn't want to delegate my parenting to someone else, even for a few hours of each day, it wasn't a stretch for me to see that sending my kids off to school each day was to do the same thing. I would once again be delegating my job to someone else, so that they could spend more time, have more influence, and ultimately disciple my children. All so that my children could be taught by "the experts". But experts in what? There is no one more expert on my children than me. I know how they think. I understand their weaknesses and strengths. So my only obstacle was in finding curriculum to teach them. I didn't realize how easy that task would become.

To be continued again. . .

Teaching Children to Think, Part 1

Children aren't born knowing how to think. I used to think: Hey, they have a brain. Why don't they use the thing? We clean our dishes after every meal every day, why do I have to remind them to do it?

I own a basin wrench. That doesn't mean I know how to use it.

We've been stripping cabinets and repainting them. We have a trash can in the garage to collect all the dirty paper towels and such. Daniel's job is to collect trash cans. He came into the garage, where I was priming cabinet doors, to get the trash can. He left the door open and Misha made a mad dash for freedom. I yelled: Grab Misha! She can't be out here!

Daniel, with hands around the trash can, panicked. "I can't!"

He couldn't figure out how in the world to get Misha when his hands were full.

I used to think I shouldn't have to micro-manage my kids. They know what we do every day. They know what's expected. They should just do it. Micro-managing would make my life harder, I reasoned.

I was wrong. I was forever frustrated with all the things they forgot. And then I started to see all the times I left my plate on the table. Or got sidetracked and left my pajamas on the floor while I ran downstairs to do something "urgent". And I started micro-managing my kids.

Part 2 here.

Jane Austen Would Be Shocked

I've been reading a lot of Jane Austen recently. Discretion, propriety, and manners were so important back then. Where there was a lack thereof, everyone present was ashamed.

Yesterday, I took all the kids to the grocery store. Everyone helped and we made short order of my grocery list. When we got to the check-out, the cashier said something along the lines of "You've got your hands full!" I smiled and said: I am really blessed.

She said: "Do you have a daycare?"

That one usually comes before I say how blessed I am. Threw me a little when she asked that.

I just said: Nope. {big smile}

"Which ones are yours?"

Again, a little slow on the uptake.

I replied: All of them. {another big smile}

"Oh, you adopted them all?"

Ok, seriously, the children you're being so nosy about are right here! {This is in my head. I'm dumbfounded by her sequence of questions and am trying to hold my tongue.}

I answered "no" {little smile this time} and then quickly turned to tell whoever was closest to me what a big help they were. I smiled real big at my kids and began talking to them.

I was done with that conversation.

Where is the discretion? Where is the propriety?

If we are at a park and somebody wants to know our family story, great! I'd love to share it! But don't ask which ones were adopted and which ones weren't. See how uncomfortable that makes my adoptees? They felt like an equal part of our family just a few minutes ago. As well they should.

Entrepreneurship in Action

We just finished watching this as a family:

Here's the story:

Caine Monroy is a 9-year old boy who spent his summer vacation building an elaborate DIY cardboard arcade in his dad’s used auto parts store.

Caine dreamed of the day he would have lots of customers visit his arcade, and he spent months preparing everything, perfecting the game design, making displays for the prizes, designing elaborate security systems, and hand labeling paper-lunch-gift-bags. However, his dad’s autoparts store (located in an industrial part of East LA) gets almost zero foot traffic, so Caine’s chances of getting a customer were very small, and the few walk in customers that came through were always in too much of a hurry to get their auto part to play Caine’s Arcade. But Caine never gave up.

One day, by chance, I walked into Smart Parts Auto looking for a used door handle for my ’96 Corolla. What I found was an elaborate handmade cardboard arcade manned by a young boy who asked if I would like to play. I asked Caine how it worked and he told me that for $1 I could get two turns, or for $2 I could get a Fun Pass with 500 turns. I got the Fun Pass.

P.S. Guess what my kids are doing now? ;)

Maya Sports a New 'Do

I took Maya to get her hair done today. I know how to do a few styles, but I wouldn't trust myself to do the style we're currently after: locs. First she gets her hair shampooed. Maya said that was her favorite part.
Since her hair has already been twisted, this was only a maintenance trip. Her stylist, Alake', only did the roots. Maya's hair is all done in two-strand twists, that will loc over time. Alake', a true African-American, used a crochet needle to twist and tighten the roots. Very interesting stuff. It would take me half a day to do this. It took her an hour.
It doesn't hurt Maya at all, although "Beauty is pain" is a cliche among blacks, African or otherwise. The girl can sit still for insane amounts of time, while having her hair done. [Tip: Don't hire a chatty hair stylist.]
The girls love looking at the hairstyle magazines and picking out their favorite 'dos. We bring a bag of stuff to keep the girls busy: coloring books, pencils and paper, snacks and drinks. We prepare for camping out, although it doesn't generally take that long. We got smart. [see previous tip.]
Here's the close-up view of her two-strand twists:
Final style: ponytail with side swept bangs. She has one single twist hanging down in the back with a shell on the end of it and one single twist in her ponytail has a pretty little African bead on it. Beautiful. And she is so proud of her new 'do.
Hair is a very big deal among blacks. A woman's hair is her crowning glory. The smile on Maya's face is worth the time and money we put into her beautiful locs.