Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I Miss Her

This family picture was taken three years ago, when Stacey and her daughter Mariah were part of our family. Stacey was 16 and pregnant when we met her. She was one of the inner city kids who attended the Youth With A Mission meetings every week for a free meal and some discipleship. She grew up with an abusive grandma and wanted better for her soon-to-be daughter. Her grandmother intended to disown Stacey after the baby was born.
When Stacey went into labor at 4am, my good friend Gretchen drove downtown to take her to the hospital. (Her family refused to take her.) Stacey and her newborn daughter moved in with us when Mariah was two weeks old. She and Mariah were precious additions, but it was very hard for Stacey to learn to live in a normal family. As much as she wanted a better life for Mariah, Stacey admitted to me in a letter just before leaving us (10 month later): "I love you guys and I'll never forget all you've taught me, but I don't know how to live like this. I don't know how to be in a normal family."
She broke my heart.
We continue to have contact with Stacey, but it is nothing like I had hoped. I looked forward to raising our girls together. Mariah and Lydia are 6 months apart. They would have made beautiful "twins". Elena and Chloe loved Stacey like a big sister and they still love to get calls from her.
Stacey played a very important role in our family and I'm so grateful for all that she taught us. If it hadn't been for her, we would have never met our miracle son, Pedro, her cousin. Stacey and Pedro grew up in the same house. What very different outcomes.

9 comments:

The Herd said...

What a ministry that you guys had for her though...and for lots of others b/c you were willing to open your home then. It just began with her! What a beautiful story of a family changing and growing though!

Our Family: said...

What a sad story but sweet to know that you still had an impact on her somehow. Thinking of how my kids may be ten years from now inspires me to examine my own thoughts, words, and deeds.
Liz

Faith said...

Wow, Ginger. I've been learning a lot about you lately! What a great story but so sad too...

Lori in KY said...

"I love you guys and I'll never forget all you've taught me, but I don't know how to live like this. I don't know how to be in a normal family."


Unfortunately, the mom of my Makenzie, who also lived with us for a period, also pretty much said the same thing to me. It *is* heartbreaking to think that just living in a normal family is so hard for them. :(

Lisa said...

"I Miss Her" pretty much sums it up. I have a similar situation and there's such a sadness about not having the relationship with someone that you think you should be. The fact that YOU want it, but they either don't want it or don't know how to have a relationship on that level. I think change is hard for anyone and I try to have compassion for others who just don't have it in them to maintain those changes. It doesn't alter the fact that you're missing something (someone) more than they miss you.

Jenileigh said...

I can't imagine the pain. Both for her and for you. I pray that given a little bit of time she will come to realize that she is ready and that she can live the way she seen you and your family live. For Christ. It took me some time too...I came around. You planted the seed. I pray a hedge of protection over her and her daughter also. May the Lord warm her heart and deepen the desire to know Him. Hugs to you!

krista said...

Hey Ginger,
Does Pedro keep up with her? Poor girls! If only.....

Your willingness is a blessing!!!

:-) Krista

Ginger said...

Pedro keeps up with her as much as we do actually.

MommaofMany said...

Have you heard anything from her lately, Ginger?