Although I know what does and does not work in schooling my adoptees, I still get discouraged every so often by the slowness of their progress. I frequently say, "Let's take a break and come back to this in a little while," then I lock myself in my bathroom and call Kyle crying. She's still sounding out words. Is she ever going to be able to read fluently? What if she doesn't? What if it's always this hard for her? He read a whole list of short /a/ words, but suddenly in the middle of them, he read "ran" as "run"? Why do they do that? Why don't they see the pattern? What if they are still having trap door days when they're adults?
Some days I have perspective and I look at all they've accomplished and how far they've come. But other days, I only see how far we still have to go and I get discouraged. It's overwhelming on those days. Kyle said it's like that man who was swimming the English channel on a foggy day. He couldn't see the coast and he gave up when he was just a few yards from land. He's so right. It feels like that. I only know that I'm plugging away, but I don't know where we'll end up. Maybe one day, reading will just click and they'll take off. But it might not. And I have to be prepared for that.
Earlier this week, Maya was having a lot of trouble with place value in her math lesson. I figured out a different way to teach it to her and I was so proud. It worked! She understood! She completed her math sheet with ease. Then she did the same thing yesterday and was so proud of herself. Then today she forgot all about the new method and got half of the problems wrong.
Today is one of my discouraged days.