Wednesday, April 9, 2008

What Would You Say?

Elena holding baby Chloe, 2001
My sweet Elena confessed to me the other day that she hasn't been praying very much lately. I was telling her to pray that we would find a new van soon (we're in the market for a "big van" as we've outgrown our beloved minivan). I asked her if she prayed during the day on her own. She said that she mostly just prays before we eat. I asked her why. She got really quiet, then a sad face overtook her.
She said: "Sometimes I pray for things and God doesn't answer my prayers."

I told her that sometimes Daddy and I have to say no to her because we know what is best for her. I explained that God responds the same way. Sometimes He knows that what we are asking isn't what's best for us.
I asked her what she was praying for.

"A baby brother."

Last week, she said, she had a dream that I had given birth to a baby boy. She was so happy because she's been praying for that for a long time. She said, "When I woke up and realized it wasn't true, I cried a lot."

I don't know what God has planned for our family, but I would love to be blessed again.

What would you say if your precious daughter said this to you?


Cactus Flower said...

I've had this question before, and with my history of problem pregnancies and miscarriages, it has always made my heart break. My response has been similar to yours--that God knows what is best for us and that if he thinks a baby brother (or sister) is the best plan for our family, then He will send us one. If not, then He has something *BETTER* in mind for us.

Lee said...

awwww...I don't know what I would say to her now, as a mom. But I can totally relate to how she's feeling as a kid. I begged and wished and prayed for a baby sister for YEARS (I have 3 brothers) I asked for a sister for every birthday, every Christmas....
My parents were not willing to be blessed again.... :)
But, considering that you are...I always say, if you're not sure that you're done...then you're not done!!

Our Family: said...

Well, I'm always happy to hear my kids are wanting another sibling. :) Children are not things to take for granted and are blessings, indeed. :)


mommy4 said...

Oh, she is so precious! I would cry and then try for another one. I love love love children and love being around them they are so pure. I also adore big families maybe because I am only one of two and we are 6 almost 7 years apart.

Roehrman said...

Pray for a baby son.:) I think it is amazing that God has blessed you with a large family and your children want more! That is a healthy family! Just think of the Grandchildren you will have!!

Remind her how long it took to have the 'triplets' be yours. Tell her things like this can take time. The story of Abraham and Sarah may be good.

Help her to pray for things that will come with an answer yes. So she can see that God is faithful and true. Seeing nos is good too. But right now some yes would be nice.


Jenni said...


I have had almost identical conversations with a few of my older children. I explained to them that God answers us with a yes, no, and sometimes a not right now. Much like Mommy and Daddy do. I think you handled the situation very well.

I will say that with my last three pregnancies I had a child tell me that he/she was praying for a new baby right before I found out that I was expecting. I have even had them look at me and tell me that they think I have a baby in my "tummy" and then found out less than two weeks later that they were right. Twice. So, you never know!

I pray that the Lord will bless you according to His will and your heart's desire!

Our Family: said...

One other thing I meant to mention is that for a while now I've been wondering if you were expecting or will be soon. I just started picking up on that "vibe," and I'm rarely wrong.....

Actually....I nearly asked you yesterday if you were expecting and then you post THIS? :)

Faith said...

I think your Elaina and my Alana are a lot alike. Alana has been praying for me to give birth to a baby sister for 3 years now and sometimes she gets so overwhelmed that God hasn't answered her prayers(she is very dramatic). I then go on to explain to her that sometimes God has a better plan. If Mommy would have gotten pregnant we wouldn't have been able to adopt her 3 newest brothers. Of course, now she prays with a vengance since there are no other children in the immediate future and she says now would be a perfect time for "God to make you a baby in your belly". Warms my heart.
About the not praying thing. I would just share with her some verses about why God wants us to pray and how it is important in our relationship with Christ. Don't make her feel bad, just let her know the importance of it. JMHO.
Blessings, Faith

The Herd said...

I would talk to her about this example...If she was to ask you for a bike, and you couldn't do it right then, but you got her one a year later, did you answer her plea? Well, just took longer than what she wanted.

When we ask the Lord for things, sometimes He does say no, but He loves us soooo much that I think sometimes He does answer just later...and we might forget that we even prayed about that particular topic.

That was so sweet and it's so tender hearted that she is thinking this way. I would encourage her to keep praying for the baby brother but more importantly the family that God wants for you guys.

I love her honesty though.
God bless you in finding a big van!

Angela said...

Abigail (6) and I just had the same conversation last night. :(

Only she is asking for a black guitar with flames on it! :D LOL

I think you explained it well to her. (((hug)))
God bless...Angela

PS You have received great council in the comments here.

Rachel Marie said...

What a sweet heart! I don't know what I would say! That is a great thing to want! Our son cried when we told him #4 was a girl- he SO wants a baby brother and we keep giving him sisters. Now that we're expecting #5 we just have to keep reminding him that God knows exactly what the make up of our family should be. I can't imagine what his reaction will be if we have to tell him that he's going to have FOUR sisters! I think he and my husband will be moving out to the garage! :)

Ginger said...

Funny, Rachel Marie. All three of my boys have 4 sisters, but I guess that's not the same, is it? lol
It would be really funny if we had 4 boys and 4 girls. What are the chances of that?

Nealy said...

90% of my wisdom has come from you and Jamie, so I may not be qualified to respond. But I would encourage Elena to TRUST the Lord with all her soul, might, and strength. He indeed knows what's best, so we trust Him in all things, even when we don't get the answer we wanted. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:16-18.

Eva said...

I came to your blog via a yahoo ambleside group. I have thoroughly enjoyed "meeting" you and your precious family. My dh and I recently began adopting domestically and adopting internationally has always been something I love to hear and see. I think you are a real ministry to others who might be considering or beginning this! Thank you for sharing!

My 3 daughter prayed every night for twin brothers. I asked her one night why twins. I thought maybe she wanted me to have twins because I am a twin and so is my mom. No, she wants one brother to be the daddy and one to be the brother when they "play house"! LOL She has also asked me this question. She knows that Mommy didn't want to be pregnant anymore, but now repented and asked God to heal her body so she can have more. I just told her that I pray every day too and that I seek to be content with God's answer each day as I continue to tell God what I desire! She hasn't prayed it recently. This reminds me to encourage her to continue if she really wants something. Just like when I pray for unsaved relatives and friends!

Again, I really enjoyed your blog!
Blessings, Eva

Ginger said...

A lot of wisdom in your words, Eva. Thanks so much for dropping by!