Friday, September 26, 2008

People Say the Darndest Things

Someone recently asked: With your transracial family, what kind of comments do you have to deal with?
The truth is, we almost never get racial comments. At least not bad ones. But last week when the four big kids were at a library event, Elena mentioned something about her sister. The adult she was talking to asked who her sister was. When Elena pointed to Maya, the lady said: She can't be your sister, she's black!
We all got a big kick out of that one. Elena thought it would be funny next time to reply: "Haven't you ever heard of adoption?" We thought it might be better to say something more gracious, though.

When we are all out together, a lot of people ask if I run an in-home daycare. The kids think it's really funny.

Most of the time, people just say silly things. But every once in awhile, people really do surprise me and say something truly shocking.

When we put in a lot of landscaping recently, someone said: "Now it's looks like white people live here!" Um, we were a bit dumbfounded by that one. Did she know she said that aloud?!?


Heather said...

Someone just asked me Saturday if I adopted my black 6 month old from Africa and my very pale blondie 9 month old from Russia. I said, "No, we are foster parents." She said, "He REALLY looks Russian!" ???

The other day at the park 10-12 black children from an after school program gathered around to ask me how in the world I came to have a black baby. I explained that I take care of the babies while their parents take classes. One of the little girls said, "I think she looks like you."

Overall we get "nice comments" but I have had some women say loudly so I can hear that we should not ruin her life by adopting her into a white family. "It just ain't right." We've committed to adopt another child of her race if we are able to adopt.

Faith said...

I get the daycare comment at least once EVERY time we are out. I think because there are SO many little ones, they get a bit confused. I know we've talked about it before but I'm getting kinda used to all the comments and the kids are having fun with it now.

rachel said...

I have had some comments and questions but as a rule , its very positive. I don't get offended quickly either so I seldom get ruffled.
I think the hardest part right now for us is that everyone assumes my youngest is bio just because she happens to be the same skin color as myself. And they ask about the two boys, "Are they brothers?" It makes my daughter feel left out to so seldom be recognised as a sister to her brothers.
(And by the way, my daughter was adopted, too)

shipra said...

"now it looks like white people live here"...???????
yikes, rewind, delete!