Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Interesting Comment

I don't generally publish anonymous comments, but this one was so tactful, I thought it deserved a response. This comment was a response to my blog post: Trying to Relate.

The thing I have the most trouble with families who have these beliefs about homemaking and woman's place in the home and all- it JUST so happens that ALL your children "want" to be housewives and ALL happen to be "domestically gifted". I am willing to bet in 3 years, you will be saying the same about Chloe and Elena. The Duggar family says the same thing- that every single girl has no other desire in life than to be a mother and stay at home all day.

While fine, I can believe a few of them may actually want to, the thing is- of course that's all these girls "want" to do. It's the only thing modeled and beaten into their heads from a young age. Do you expose your girls to other options besides baking, sewing, and taking care of Julia? Do they know that women can be teachers (in a real school), doctors, nurses, lawyers, therapists, office workers, CEOs, business managers, and a whole slew of other careers? Or do you tell them this, but then add on "but only feminists do work outside the home and that's bad"?

I'm not trying to say that homemaking is a bad thing. I'm saying that from what I've observed from reading blogs of families similar to yours, there is a strange trend of parents claiming that "all" their daughters want to do is be homemakers, and that is awfully strange and coincidental. I'm questioning if this is something they REALLY want to do or have they been brainwashed by biased parents?

Also, Maya is 13. 13 year olds change their minds every day so if she's 16 and saying she wants to go to college, please don't try and prevent her from going. Isn't Pedro in college? You didn't try and keep him back, did you?

I know you won't publish this, but i would not be upset if you replied to my email address- (removed for her protection)


I appreciate your perspective. The truth is: all children follow in the footsteps of their role models. The Bible states this.

"A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." Luke 6:40

Children in public schools are fed a consistent diet of evolutionism. It is no surprise that the overwhelming majority of them grow up defending evolution to the death, whether they can explain their beliefs or not. I don't think that's strange or coincidental. They are only learning what they have been taught.

If I paid to have my children in Catholic school, I would expect them to hear only the Catholic viewpoint. I wouldn't think it strange or coincidental.

When Planned Parenthood comes to my child's public school, I would expect my children to learn about contraception, not the blessing of children or the choice of abstinence. It would be foolish of me to think otherwise, given Planned Parenthood's clearly stated beliefs.

Unless children disrespect their teachers, they will learn and value what they've been taught. Children of feminists grow up to be feminists. Daughters of embittered single women grow up distrusting men. You may call it brain-washing if you like, but it's a fact of life.

I grew up with a working mother, so it's not surprising that I grew up planning to be a career woman. I worked all through graduate school and for 9 years following. I hope that my daughters will not choose the same, but will raise their own children. I pray that they see the eternal value in it. There is no eternal value in a successful career.

My daughters do know that women can be lawyers, doctors, therapists (I was one), and lucrative business owners. They've seen it. But they've also figured out that those women either miss out on the blessing of children, or they miss out on raising them, while they're away all day working. I haven't had to tell them this. They see it for themselves. Because I treat them as the blessings they are to me, they also view children as a blessing and desire them.

The reason I train my daughters in homemaking skills is out of obedience to God’s Word:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. ~Titus 2:3-5

Of all my girls, Maya alone is domestically-gifted. She is passionate about a clean house, she loves to cook and bake, and she asks to take care of her baby sister. I highly doubt I will be able to say that about all my daughters. I myself am not domestically-gifted. I cook because I eat. I am learning to bake, but I prefer to buy sweets. I clean because I hate a dirty house.

But I am not a homemaker because I’m especially skilled for the job, or have the patience of a saint. I am a homemaker because I desire to obey God’s commands, because I love Him.

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. ~1 John 5:3

Like I said in the comments of that blog post, Maya wants to learn photography. If she maintains that desire, she will absolutely be going to college to take the classes. We encourage her in this because photography is a hobby that can make good money, but doesn't have to detract from the joy and blessing of motherhood.

You impressed me, Michelle, with your ability to express your viewpoint calmly. A rare trait indeed! :)



Faith said...

Very well said Ginger! There is nothing more that I can add to your very well put response.

Dusti said...

Beautiful reply!

Aly sun said...

Very true. Thank you for sharing so plainly and politely.

debhmom3 said...

That was a good reply My only thought was it seems a bit naive to think that homeschooled girls would not know women can have careers as everywhere we go in the real world there are women working. Unless I child cannot reason for themselves, I would think they know women can have a job. We have women tellers at the bank, women cashiers at the grocery store, women swim instructors, the list goes on. I don't ever think higher education has no value, even if you intend to stay home with your children and I really don't know many homeschooled parents who would discourage higher learning. Interesting opinion though, it's always good for me to be aware of how others perceive things.

Angela said...

Thank you for sharing the comment and your response. I am blessed, encouraged, and challenged by it today. Thanks!

Michelle Hall said...

anonymous comments

I'm confused. You address the person by name. I thought it was a unnamed person?

Ginger said...

She published an anonymous comment, but then left her full email address. She didn't leave her name. I just figured it out by her email address. :)

dkt said...

I think it comes down to, we teach our children to glorify God in what they choose to do with their life. My continual prayer for all of my kids is that "whatever path of life they choose, may it be one that glorifies You and builds your kingdom."

For boys/men, the Bible seems to indicate career/providing for their household.

For girls/women, the Bible seems to indicate being married, having children and serving at home.

But there are exceptions to these general roles. For example, I have seen women who are called to singleness (even if for a time...say...into their 30s). These women are Godly and mostly missionaries. Some going into Muslim countries as teachers, doctors, etc. to reach muslim women. Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a good example of a godly single woman too.

So I guess I try to avoid the "women stay home and raise kids" period statements... I prefer to say "women ought to glorify God, even if it means doing the counter-cultural difficult thing."

It's only a slight difference though, to your argument (which I agree with)

Ginger said...

I totally agree w/ your exceptions. I think the chances are very good that my children will marry and have children, but I also think it's dangerous to set them up for that if God has a different plan for them. But regardless if they marry or not, they will still need to know how to cook and clean and do laundry. ;)

Anonymous said...

Well put, Ginger. Your focus is "obedience" to the Lord. Nothing else matters. There will always be the "skeptics", but you have quoted one of my favorite Bible verses, "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous." 1 John 5:3. When we truly love the Lord, we gladly obey Him! My only encouragment to you, Ginger, is always keep your focus God-ward, and beware of the nets of flattery on this blog. We all are well-intentioned, I am almost certain, to exhort you in how you exhort us, but it can be a snare. God bless you!

Ginger said...

That's a good word, Anonymous. I receive that. I need humility more than flattery, to be sure. :)