As I said, I've been reading a lot of adoption blogs (I live for reading stories of orphans redeemed), and I've noticed a distinct pattern. The friends and family of the adopting family have no idea what to do. I hope this helps.
- Treat the adoption of their new child just as you would the birth of a baby. Bring meals. Adjusting to life with a new child or children, especially if they are older, is quite overwhelming. Thinking about and cooking meals is an added stress that you can help relieve.
- Ask the family what they need. Perhaps they now have four toddlers and the prospect of going to the store with all of them to get diapers is out of the question. Maybe they want visitors and maybe they don't. Ask.
- Know that a child who has been malnourished, which is basically all international adoptees, cannot handle a typical American diet. Their digestive systems are underdeveloped and they cannot process a lot of food. Be understanding when the parents take away or withhold food. They know better than the child who has never experienced being full.