Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you love them, think often of their souls. No interest should weigh with you so much as their eternal interests. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die.
This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out the mighty question, "How will this affect their souls?"
While academic and teacher qualification objections to homeschooling are pretty much a thing of the past, the age-old question of “What about socialization?” continues to increase.
Just as we should be prepared to give an answer for the hope that is within us, we should also have an answer to the socialization question. Having answered this question in many different ways, I thought it might be smart to see what the dictionary defines as “socialization,” as it can mean many different things to folks asking the question (that’s probably why we should ask them how they define socialization before we answer).
The common theme in dictionary definitions is that the individual conforms to the beliefs and actions of a larger group.
Most people agree that socialization is essential for the development of individuals so that they can effectively function within societies and for ensuring that society’s cultural features will be carried onto the next generation. That being the case, peer socialization, especially in the teenage years, would be the worst socialization today, if we want our children to be responsible adults.
I ask you in what setting, other than school, will a person be exposed to long hours, days, months, and years with people of their same age? Only in school. So this socialization, at best, prepares a person to get along in school. At worst, it prepares him for drugs, sex, rebellion against parents, and fuzzy thinking. You don’t receive training in responsibility from peers, only from adults. Therefore, the key to positive socialization is more time with parents and other uplifting adults.
I’m not negating the need for peer interaction, but it should be controlled and monitored by the parent so that peer interaction will not counteract the training and teaching of constructive values and beliefs that you do in your home. Homeschooling gives you this opportunity.
I received this book from Worthy Publishing to review. Momumental is labeled as a Christian Life book for women, but I'm not really sure why. I didn't read a single reference to scripture in the first half of the book. It is intended to be an encouragement for moms, sort of a "This is hard and I have crazy days just like you, but don't quit, it's worth it all!" kind of theme. And I would have really loved it except for the fact that I'm a Christian.
The author mentions by name several TV shows and movies, all which glorify premarital and extramarital sex and sexual innuendo as it's main source of humor. Frankly, I was not only disappointed, I was stunned.
Our work as mothers requires minute-by-minute dying to self, sacrificing our convenience for the sake of taking the time to disciple and train our children, and learning to keep our mouths shut when patience and compassion are more needed than efficiency. As much as we may enjoy laughing at the things we all experience, it doesn't give us the gas we need to keep going. Scripture alone has that power.
When you need encouragement, go the Word of God. When you need to know you're not alone, go to the Word of God. When you need wisdom, go to the One who promises it to you if you only ask.
There are plenty of edifying parenting books. This isn't one of them.
This book is available here free, and you need to read it. You'll love it and you'll be thanking me later. Just trust me. If you're a stay-at-home mom, you need this book.
Here's what I learned:
If I take the time to train my children in good habits (obedience, thankfulness, respect, etc.) my days will go smoothly. If I don't take the time to train my children in good habits, every day will be hard and exhausting.
Have I mentioned before that this is the best adoption parenting book out there? Well it bears repeating. And if you've only read it once, it bears re-reading.
Several nights a week, we do family devotions after dinner. While we're still sitting around the table, Kyle will ask for this book:
For some reason, we can never remember the title so it's become a family joke. "Can you get the "Small Book for Big Heads" book?" or "Can you hand me the "Small People at a Big Table" book?"
A n y w a y . . .
Last night, Kyle was reading about reformers and the uproar they caused among the Catholic church. Lydia asked:
What's the Pimp?
I stifled a giggle as Kyle tried to explain who the Pope is. Before he could get it out, Daniel, having noticed that Mom was entertained by something, corrected Lydia:
I think you mean the Pulp.
Now Kyle was stifling giggles (and definitely not as successfully as I had). "No, that's the stuff in orange juice."
Does this happen at your house too or is it just mine?
Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
Please read the rest of this encouraging article here.
Last night, Kyle and I were talking about the fact that our adoptees don't have the typical "difficult behaviors" of adopted children. They don't have meltdowns due to sensory overload. They don't "push our buttons" and manipulate us. And then Kyle reminded me that they did once upon a time. We were remembering the first week after Maya, Isaac and Daniel's adoption, when Isaac was asking for thirds of dinner. After seeing how Daniel's little tummy reacted to a normal American diet, we were not going to let Isaac overfeed himself. We gently told him that no, he could not have thirds. He started moaning.
We ignored him and got up to wash our plates. He followed us into the kitchen, stood right beside us and moaned. We went to the den and sat down on the couch. He leaned against the couch and moaned louder.
We got such a kick out of sharing this story.
Last night, we suddenly had a realization: We did the absolute worst thing we could have done. We ignored him.
He was communicating his fears and insecurities to us in the only way he knew how and we ignored him.
So tonight, after everyone went to bed, we sat Isaac down on the couch between us and apologized. I teared up as I told him that what we did was wrong. We told him that we want him to come to us any time he is afraid or mad or upset or just has a question. (He very rarely does this currently.)
I told him how I fell in love with him before I met him. Just looking at the pictures I had of him-- his ever-present smile and his charming face. I told him how excited I was to get to know him. How I told Kyle: I know I'm going to love that boy.
Then I told him that I do. I love him so much more now than I did then. Because now I do know him.
I told him he is my favorite Isaac in the whole world.
After weeks of planning, I began our summer dinner menu two weeks ago and I'm proud to say I'm 12 for 12! WooHoo!! Everyone loves it all. For a family of 10, that's a huge success!
We budget to eat out once a week, thus 6 dinners per week.
Isaac has a new favorite dinner: Sloppy Joes! Anyone who knows him can guess why: it's all MEAT! No broccoli, no green peas for goodness' sake, just beef!! My absolute favorite meal of this menu is the Sensational Summer Salad. You simply must try it!
I know, I know, I haven't blogged in FOREVER! I apologize. Here's a newsy update:
We started a new school year last week. (We school year-round and start in the summer, when it's too darn hot to go outside.) It took me 3 weeks to plan our year (that's a lot for me) because this is my hardest year yet. I'm teaching 6 kids! Actually, I'm only supervising two of those, but it still took a lot of figuring to work out a schedule so I could have a certain 2-year-old occupied while we schooled. She's going through a rather unpleasant life stage and it's been a bit of a challenge. (I'm understating it significantly. Some days I want to pull my hair out.)
This cutie patootie keeps me sane. He's beyond cute. And have I told you how much he adores me? He's head over heels, I tell you. I just look at him and he lights up. It's quite a bolster for the confidence.
Oh look there's that 2-year-old having a charming moment. We still love her, pill that she is.
Baby Einstein videos have been the cornerstone of our schooling success. I exaggerate. But look how quiet and calm they are. It warms my motherly heart.
I know I mentioned that we're doing exercises to help my adoptees who weren't given the opportunity to crawl. Well as I researched this, I also discovered that the same exercises are a boon to growing babies. So Judah joined in on the fun. Here he is doing his patterning exercises. It's a passive exercise for his body, but it's an active exercise for his brain:
Last week Judah started drooling like mad, and this week his little tooth is trying to poke through, causing my little man quite a lot of discomfort. Absolutely breaks my heart.
Kyle recently pointed out that I have a lot of pictures of Chloe with Judah, like this one of them dancing together:
Simple explanation: I tend to forget I own a camera. Terrible trait for a mom. I know. But Chloe reminds me and when she says: "Mom, take a picture!" I do. I may be forgetful, but I'm obliging.
He really is a good dancer. (So long as you don't mind dancing with a really short, REALLY fat partner.) I don't. (To be honest, his love handles are extremely attractive to me.)
In other news, Daniel got a new haircut.
